How to Control Your Anger and Stay on Top

Stay on Top With This Quick Tip

How to control your anger and stay on top? After reading and doing plenty of research, I have always felt differently about what “control” really means when it comes to our feelings. Some information is motivating, while others aren’t much help to a negative mindset. 

Many times I’ve been left with the question: Is there any easy way to control your anger?

I don’t believe in an anger management class because it’s brief; however, I’ve never attended one. It must be some kind of success if anger management classes are still available for people who struggle with anger. If you’re a fan, I don’t need to see the stats.

I’ve done enough reading to understand that yes, there is more than one way to control your anger – more specifically, emotions in general.

I would rather stay calm and deal with whatever unpleasant things are going on inside then lose myself around other people.

There is no use to keep crying for bad memories. Whatever has happened has happened and has already become part of the past. I find it’s the same with anger, we must face whatever is bothering us to address it. 

A simple question

Working as a therapist, I receive many requests for how to control anger. There’s no magic pill for this. I say, here’s a simple question for you: What do you do when you feel angry or irritated by unfavorable situations? They answer. I respond by telling them being angry is normal human behavior, and keeping it in control is your responsibility.

I know that’s not the glamorous answer, but it’s true. There are many things in this world to which we can’t control, but you can completely take control of your thoughts and emotions. That’s powerful. That’s true strength.

Our emotions and quick reactions aided us millions of years ago and are mostly how we have survived so long as a species. When we don’t pay attention to what we’re feeling, we lose ourselves to that quick reaction. The truth is, we no longer live in a world where that’s needed.

We’ve developed these intelligent brains where we each can step away from a situation, analyze it, use logic, and come up with better alternatives. That’s a real superpower. You have it too. 

In situations we find ourselves triggered, we have to learn how to step away enough to allow our thoughts to catch up to our emotions. How many times have you had an argument, and the next day ask yourself: What were we even arguing about? Or for?

It’s all about understanding control

I have a simple way of keeping my temper under control. I count backward starting from hundred to zero, I remove myself, and ask why I am angry? Typically, I can come up with a reasonable answer, and that’s calming.

If it doesn’t work, I take a glass of water and restart counting. You know, what is one of the simplest ways of getting relaxed? If you see a flower around go and smell it. It’s one sure shot way getting rid of anger instantly.

I suggest to many of my friends when you are in one such situation just keep your cool. Take a long breath and explore why you’re feeling that way to allow yourself to think before taking your next step. It will be difficult at first, but the time to catch up with your emotion gets faster, the more you practice.

Each situation will not be in your favor but encourage yourself to think positive, you can make sense of it and get through it.

Take it, easy man

As far as I am concerned, I take all whatever good or bad is happening around me in my stride and make the best of it. If people are acting negatively around you, it’s typically something going on with them – it’s not about you. 

I’ll rephrase: If someone is treating you poorly, it’s something they’re struggling with; it has nothing to do with your value, respect, or worth. Figure out the problem or reevaluate those closest to you. 


Anger is normal behavior, and if you feel it – you are validated in how you think. It’s your responsibility not to let it consume and control you. Adolescents are fueled by emotion more so than adults because they aren’t fully developed. You can look at whatever emotion you feel, make sense of it, and turning it around. Believe in yourself and practice the next time you feel angry. It gets easier with time.

Final Tips

When angry:

Try removing yourself from the room. Pay attention to your thoughts and your body: 

  • What are you thinking?
  • What are you feeling?
  • How’s your heart rate?
  • Are you warm or shaking?

Give yourself a few moments or up to an hour if you can. Address your thoughts and question your emotions. “Why am I upset?” If there’s a valid reason, find a better solution than fighting back.

If you’re upset but don’t know why or where it’s coming from, then remind yourself that the feeling is coming from somewhere else.

Positive self-talk and patience. You’ve got the power. You’ve got this.

Thank you for reading. Please drop a comment below and share with someone who needs this!

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